Sandra Bernhard//"Everybody's Young"

Holy shit, this conversation I had with this old lady at the diner tonight. When a conversation with a complete stranger BEGINS with "Mayor Dinkins had all the streetlamps replaced with dimmer light bulbs as revenge on all white people," you sit the hell down and follow this all the way through to wherever it leads. In this case: why and how she doesn't like black people, the different "kinds" of "orientals", the Bible, heaven (actually a galaxy of hundreds of different planets, and each "different type of people" get a whole planet to themselves), horses in heaven, this book she's reading, angels (8 feet tall, some with wings, some without), Art Bell, how much she hates this diner (though she is here ~literally~ every night), how bad the food is at this diner (although, again, she is here ~literally~ every night), money, what I think about Trump, what she thinks about Trump, whether or not there will be another world war (because the Bible), the skin under our fingernails, atheism, reincarnation, her friend who "died" but came back to life five months later (I assume she meant that he was in a coma or something, not that they had to dig him back up or whatever, because FIVE MONTHS?), born again Christians, "seeing the light", "living in the spiritual realm", how much she hates Catholics, how badly she hates this world, Chinese food, Chinese restaurants, Chinatown, how much she likes "the orientals" ("because your eyes, they're like cat eyes"), how crazy it is to be charged $3.80 for her tiny cup of...rice pudding?, and next time she'll just get a sandwich like I did because she thinks the FOOD-food here is terrible. Have I mentioned how much she hates this diner? It was a goddamned symphony. I'm not going to be able to sleep for months.

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart//"So True"

"If you don’t lose some skin for the things you believe

How do you know that you really do?

And I know that you really do

And I know that you’re really so true..."

But then the song ends with the lines, "But I could never be, I could never be so true."

Are you not an activist, do you not care if you're not willing to risk your life for the things that you believe in? We live in a world with so many concerns, clashing and intersecting and interfering, I often don't know where one begins, where one ends, or the limits and borders of any of them.

I often wake up in the morning and don't know who I am supposed to be today. I'm not even talking about activist stuff.

The last couple days literally every woman I know (and many men as well, come to that) have been posting to social media their #metoo harassment/assault/rape stories, and behind every one of them the unspoken question, "So what can we do about it?", and behind every unspoken question the unspoken answer, "I don't know."

Kirsty MacColl//"Terry"

I don't believe that I will ever drink hazelnut coffee again, after I leave this place.

Matt Nathanson//"Bill Murray"

"I won't only love you when you're winning
Other fools pretend to understand
Come on take my hand, we'll go down swinging
Let me be your man
Let me be your man"

Matt Nathanson//"Gold In the Summertime"

Joe Jackson//"Steppin' Out"

Miracle Legion//"Snacks and Candy" (Letterman)

Priscilla Ahn//"Fine On the Outside"

Night Terrors of 1927//"Shine"

i never left u.

Does anybody truly believe that they are below-average or even average when it comes to looks? How ever they answer the question out loud, putting aside all politeness and self-deprecating humor, everyone deep down truly believes, or wishes to believe, that they are an above-average-looking person.

Of course, it is both mathematically and semantically impossible for everyone to be above average. But the thing is, how can anyone really tell how good looking one truly is? In this world of pumped-up self-esteem, to-one's-face politeness and behind-one's-back putdowns, how can anyone really know where one falls on the spectrum of physical attractiveness?

Here is one quick check: think of all the random people who generally show you any sort of attention in your life in the last week, month year. The people at the office, at school, on the street, online, on the train, in buses and shops and bars and friends of friends at parties. Picture all of these people in a room. Now, as a group, how would you rate the "quality" of person who generally gives you any attention, looks your way, tries to get your attention or phone number? Not so great? Maybe a "2"?

Guess what? YOU'RE A 2.

Yes, I realize that these are all meaningless, self-created numbers and characterizations anyway, so what does it any of it matter anyway? I'm not really sure. Maybe ratings are stupid. Maybe looks are stupid. Maybe this isn't the way we want to be thinking about people because it's not the way we want them thinking about us.

I don't know. Maybe part of loving yourself means loving the people who love you back, too.

Junior Prom//"Cheap Thrills" (lyric)

The History of Apple Pie//"Jamais Vu"

"Starstruck"

The Smiths//"Asleep"

Plastic Girl in Closet//"Colours of the World"

『ベイマックス』鉄拳「パラパラ漫画」オリジナルPV

Lemonheads//"Half the Time"

Annie Lennox//"I Put a Spell On You"